Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 
Lost & Didn't-Really-Need-To-Be-Found

Found scrawled upon a Winnie the Pooh stationary pad (featuring classic Pooh illustrations) at a kiosk in Toronto's Eaton's Centre: "Now Pooh was a beer of little brains..."

Not only did this particular spelling snafu amuse me, Mel and Mel's family, but it brought the kiosk merchants trying to sell us the stationary great roars of laughter. The scary thing is that while it appears to be a perfect case of Engrish, the rest of the description of Pooh (all of it subsequently being non-alcoholic) is perfect English.

Or is it? Have the beer companies bought the rights to Pooh, and are slowly starting to subvert the minds of young children with subliminal advertising? Or are we discovering the dark secret of the Hundred Acre Wood's favourite bear? Does this mean every time he raids Rabbit's place, it's to find the moonshine Rabbit's been secretly making? For that matter, what is Pooh's favourite beer? Is it Guinness?

Found left inside a briefcase that was returned to our store yesterday: they're lacy, they're black, and our best guestimate puts them in at about a C-cup. Here's a handy tip for all of you out there who might buy briefcases or other items made to make you look thoroughly professional and business-like...don't leave your bras inside said items when you return them. We can only sell purses, backpacks and luggage. As far as I know, our Head Office will never have a division of womens' underwear that matches not only your purse, but also the luggage you're wheeling along behind you.

Though this does admittedly top the white thong we found on top of our gift kiosk's phot album display last Christmas season. How does one top a hilariously strange work anecdote involving panties? With more undergarments, apparently!

Today's Lesson: it's easier to berate what you write than to create it.


posted by Phillip at 6:10 AM

 
Things That Go "Thbbbbbt!" In The Night

While I don't have such colourful weblinks like, say, Neil Gaiman's journal, which today mentions neepery, electric pickles, poison gardens, art made by juicing CDs with half a million volts of electricity, and boy scouts making radioactive breeder reactors for badges--

http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/journal.asp (for those who are wondering)

--every now and again I happen to discover an interesting article. Like how listening to Verdi can kill you in your own car. This time around, I've discovered how children's books have changed over the years by breaking down taboos...and by breaking wind. From Clifford the Big Red Dog, we've come full circle to Walter the Farting Dog.

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/stories/fartingdog20040423

For those of you too lazy to cut and paste, here's the article:

HALIFAX - Humour and the "f-word" -- fart-- may initially attract children to the Walter the Farting Dog books, but the co-author of the best-selling series believes there's more to it.

"Kids love scatological detail and bodily functions," Murray admitted. "But Walter has an extra charm, I think, and a message of acceptance and tolerance and making the best of a bad situation."

Murray, a Fredericton-based writer and educational technology supervisor, co-authored Walter the Farting Dog and its follow-up Walter the Farting Dog: Trouble at the Yard Sale with his friend William Kotzwinkle, a writer based in Maine.

The books tell the story of the titular pooch and the troubles he gets into because of his uncontrollable and unpleasant bodily function. In the end, however, Walter always saves the day.

Released in 2001, the first Walter book has sold approximately 500,000 copies in North America and, already translated into French and Spanish, will soon appear in Latin, Vietnamese, Korean and Hebrew. Trouble at the Yard Sale, which hit bookshelves this month, is set for similar success: printed in a dozen languages, the book raced up the New York Times Children's Bestsellers list.

Trouble at the Yard Sale has now bumped the original, first-ranked Walter down to second place.

Murray, who spends a lot of time doing public readings in elementary schools, says that the series' success helps get young people excited about reading.

"To me the most important thing that can happen in early education is for a kid to have the experience of picking up a book they choose, reading it from one end to another, and closing the cover and thinking 'That was fun. That was a good thing to do,'" Murray said.

"You know then they're going to go on to read other books."

The Walter stories may not be great literature, but they are attracting children to books, says Susan Perren, children's book columnist at the Globe and Mail.

"As long as it's a diet that's well-balanced with other, shall we say, more nutritious stuff, I think it's just great," Perren said.

The Walter phenomenon will continue with a third book, entitled Walter the Farting Dog: Rough Weather Ahead, set for release later this year. A Walter plush toy -- complete with authentic-sounding "intestinal emanation" sound effects -- and a live-action movie are also in the works.

Now in all honesty, I have no problem with the progatonist having a case of severe flatulence. I've written characters with worst disorders and dysfunctions than that, all in the name of humour. I just still find it peculiar that this source of humour is meant here exclusively for children.

Maybe I'm just not into toilet humour. I enjoy the likes of Good Omens or Douglas Adams to a series of shallow pratfalls and Jackassish antics. And I haven't read about Walter's hapless exploits, so ultimately I can't criticize that which I do not know. I'm hopefully not even trying to criticize now.

I'm just bemused, I guess. Not to mention impressed from reading the article and seeing just how many synonyms there are for "fart" and the act thereof.

Today's Lesson: it's harder than you originally think to write in text the sound of flatulating buttocks.


posted by Phillip at 7:00 PM